World Kindness Day: There is a thin line between being self-love and selfish; say celebrities
It all starts within, say celebrities this World Kindness Day. We are often very kind to others, but when it comes to ourselves, we turn harsh. Celebrities share instances of when they were harsh with themselves and how they take care of their needs now.
On world Kindness day I would like to say that Kindness is the most important thing in the world. Learning to be kind is something which you learn from the people around you, from your family, friends and your experiences. I have had various experiences and always had the best kind of people around me and I think I will sound pompous if I say I’m a kind person but I like to do whatever I can to help others around me. Yes I guess in the entertainment industry everyone helps one another. I think Covid has taught us to be human and Kindness matters.
It has not been long but I can say it’s been 6 to 7 years since I was kind to myself. I was not cruel to myself before this but then the problems began where I was forced to give less importance to myself. At such times, we think adjusting is important keeping what other people want in mind. But then, gradually, I learnt that there is a very thin line between self-love and being selfish. When you are kind to yourself, you love yourself. That’s self love. And there’s a misunderstanding that if we think about ourselves and we’re kind to ourselves, then probably people will think we’re selfish. But now I have understood this thin line.
Priya Paramita Paul
Self-abuse is something which is not being kind to yourself and this I had realised when I was actually attending a workshop on abuse. So, we all talk about how someone can abuse. It can be domestic violence, any exploitation, any harassment, a lot of things but there are many times we abuse ourselves. We are not kind and sacrifice our choices just to satisfy someone else. Kindness does not mean harming yourself. The ultimate definition of kindness is “being selfish to me and selfless to others”. Some of the examples I have given in self-abuse are when we overeat so that the food should not get wasted. We can use that food to give it to someone else, dogs, animals etc. That is the time we are abusing our body. When we’re wearing uncomfortable clothes, we are overworking. Every time we go to a restaurant, we ask others what they want to eat rather than asking ourselves what I want to eat. Even if we don’t like it, we adjust because we don’t want to throw that food away. But what if we don’t enjoy the food? So these are small things that lead to an abusive body and again, as per the law of attraction, when you abuse yourself, you attract abuse from others and it always starts from the self. When I realised these things, I started being kind to myself. Started taking care of me in everything. If people need me I’m always there but not at the cost of sacrificing myself.
Kindness is a very big word in itself. People pretend that they are kind but are they genuinely kind? I see people show kindness but the next moment you get to know their real selves. No matter how much you pretend that you are kind, it comes in front of everyone if you are not true to your heart. In our entertainment industry, I see this a lot and feel sad also because the other person is just pretending to be kind. Just to be in the limelight and be in the news, they show kindness, without meaning it, which is wrong. The place where I come from, my parents, my guru ji and the people around me have taught me that no matter how much you achieve in your life, being kind is extremely important. Kindness comes from your nature, education, what you have seen and grown up and how your journey has been. I just request everyone to have a helping nature, not to have grudges for others or pull each other down. If you want to go fast, go alone but if you want to go far, go together.
I disagree with the statement that you have to be kind to yourself. You ownself is the only person you should not be kind to because if you don’t do that, you will never be able to extend your limits and stretch your own benchmarks. For your improvement, you cannot be kind to yourself all the time. But, yes, you need to be kind to every other living being and the first act of kindness I think that any human being can do is to turn vegetarian. Stop eating any meat because we are killing living animals and eating them. We need to stop that. That’s the basic and first act of kindness.
What I learnt is Kindness doesn’t come automatically. Sometimes you are born with kindness and sometimes it should develop with practice. Kind people are all over the world and because of those people this universe is working. When this kindness will end this world will end. I never am kind to myself because when I am kind to myself then maybe I become weak but yes I am always kind to other people. I am always hard on myself. Kindness should be for others not for yourself. It’s like trees cannot eat their own fruits but other people can eat those fruits, so how trees are contributing to this world. Kindness is like that fruit